I'm currently in like with Justin James Hughes. He's an upcoming actor. I don't recall where I first saw him from but I do recall seeing him on Chester See's youtube videos. I'm adoring Chester See; he's my new John Cena. During my teenage years I was all about John Cena and a month after I turned 20 I found Chester See and I adore him. No fear though, John Cena will always have a place in my heart.

His music is amazing. He is humorous. pretty nice looking and he just seems like a well rounded guy. I am so glad he uploads videos every Tuesday. I love Tuesdays because of NCIS but I now I love them even more because of Chester See!

I wouldn't have found Justin James Hughes thanks to Chester See! I hope to see Justin James Hughes (HUUUUGHES) on television very soon. As far as I know though he is suppose to be in a Bud Light commercial. I look forward to that. I also look forward in seeing him in Chester See's upcoming music video for his song "So Good Bye (This Time Lies Won't Explain)" 

Besides all the cute guys on youtube; I have recently starting liking skinny jeans. They just didn't seem to flatter me or feel comfortable but then I found some amazing pairs and I wear them when I go out all the time. Not only do I have a new like for skinny jeans but also for flat boots. You know the ones? The ones without a heel. So far I have found three pair that I love. The one pair that I love are knitted so I just wear them around the house, they are so cozy. Also cardigans are my new favorite piece of clothing. For girls who just wear jeans and a sweatshirt or t-shirt, using a cardigan makes a difference if you're tired of the same old style. 

In high school I was never big on fashion and getting into college I felt like I needed a change and I have but at my own pace. :)

It's a new year and I am destined to do something new. Last year was to focus on me and this year I plan to focus on those around me. After losing a few people the year, spending time with the ones who are around seems more important now. 

Chester See 

I've always liked his eyes. They were so deep and when he looked at me they looked alive. That's the only time I'd ever see him look alive when he looked at me and when talked to me. He had a way of making me feel special. He was nice to me while I was dating one of his best friends and he was nice to me after we broke up. He seemed annoyed with the rest of the world but I knew he loved his life even if he did hurt himself. He didn't care about anything because he knew to live day by day. 

It was almost a month before I knew he had died. It was four days after the funeral that I knew he had died. I cried. I wasn't sure what to think. It wasn't until today I knew why he had died. He was hit by a car. If he wasn't hit by the car he'd be alive today. But would I have known to talk to him? If it wasn't for Harlan I wouldn't have known he had died. If it wasn't for school I wouldn't have known him. If it wasn't for the kind of person I am I wouldn't have cared so much. 

But this isn't about me. It's about him. 

Anthony, I'm sorry I don't remember the last time I saw you. I'm sorry I didn't try to talk to you more. I'm sorry I wasn't at your funeral. I'm not sorry that we met. I just want you to know that wherever you are now that you have always had a special place in my heart. Even if you were in my life for a short time, I'm glad you were in my life. You may now just be a memory but you're a happy memory. I love you. I'll miss you. I hope to see you again. Rest in Peace Anthony M. 

I've been best friends with Austin for four years. I tell him everything and lately it seems like he doesn't tell me anything. I call, he doesn't answer or call or text for days. I go on vacation and he texts once and doesn't call to see if I'm having fun. At this point I'm feeling like we're no longer friends. That I have no one tell my problems to and no one to relate or understand me. 

I've said a lot of crazy stuff over the years and no one has understood me the way he does or did. I can talk to him about guys because he didn't mind. I could complain to him about my crazy family because he knew about them. I told him when I liked a guy but I don't feel like I could tell him that now. If he can't tell me about what's going on in his life, why should I tell him what's going on in my life? Isn't that what best friends do? Tell their best friend what has been going on in their life even when they're not around. I mean sure they don't have to tell each other everything but they do keep in them in the loop of their life, right? 

Just a little check up is nice. Even if its once a month. I do that with Blaine.  I text him once a month on the same day just to say hello. It's scheduled on my calender. He's my best friend too and I still tell him even the littlest things. 

The best discovery best friends can make is growing separately without growing apart. That's close to the quote right? I winged it. Everything comes close. Nothing can be perfect. Something come close but nothing is. If it is then that's just crazy talk. Yall mean?

Friends rub off on you. You take a little bit of them wherever you are. It could be something only they say or a picture of them. Whatever it is you only hope that they take something of you with them. Like Chance says "Yall mean?" short for "you know what I mean?" and my friend's aunt says "what the hazey?" and I tell my friends whenever they need a hug and I'm not around to eat ice cream; ice cream is like a cold hug.

Just remember to have friends is to be a friend.